Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
