u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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