The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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