I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
