somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
