Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
