ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
