I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
