I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
