I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
