My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
