4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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