Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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