I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
