Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
