i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
