We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
