she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
