It's like God shit irony all over that family
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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