Please, let me fuck your mom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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