Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
