last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
