if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
