I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
