why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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