Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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