So drunk, too bad you don't want this
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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