Fine. I'll sleep in my office
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You need Xanax blowdarts
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
