Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
