And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
