he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sober January is a disaster.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize