Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Come see our sink grown plant.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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