Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
