And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
