she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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