sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
