I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
