doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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