Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
