you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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