she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
