no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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