in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
