i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
