Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
