whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
