Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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