her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
