So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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