Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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