So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
